I have had a go0d read so far reading your haiku. I have a couple of thoughts…
I never quite know how to teach how to use specific imagery. When I say “specific” maybe I mean “real.” because every reader–wants to “see” what you are seeing in a real way.
- avoid anything generic that might mean something totally different depending on who and where you are. The ocean is different all of the world. There are a million types of flowers, so give your flower the name: rose, tulip, dandelion. What is in the field? What bug is it? The art of the haiku is in creating an image and then creating a mood, a meaning, or an insight.
- Emotions are tricky to write: joy and sadness, pain, sorrow don’t mean much on their own. Use specific imagery to create the sense of joy, sadness–or whatever emotion you are trying to capture in your haiku.
- Get rid of ALL unneeded words!
Here is Basho trying to capture “persistence”
a worm digs silently
into the chestnut.
Here is Issa capturing beauty:
Moonlit Wind Blowing
Here is Buson capturing the essence of manual labor:
Blow of an ax,
the winter woods.
My haiku techniques should really be accompanied by you searching out the haiku of the Japanese masters. Check out this site and see what mean!